"Stan, have you been crying?" "Really?!  It is 'Ryan?'!" "Steve, if you like 8 foot raging morning wood in your back, say nothing right now." "Why am I the smallest spoon?" "I'm getting tired of Drunk Steve." "At least I didn't stick my ass in Stan's face..." "Steve... Steve... Steve...?" "Dude, her sister is HOT.  No Steve, she is not, and you are very drunk." "Steve, you're still drunk..." "Maybe we should drink whenever they say 'fuck.' No, we would be even more smashed than we already are just 20 minutes into the fucking movie." "I hope I'm not that guy." "She is that guy!" "How was 'Fucking My Fair Lady'?"  "I have to hear one more musical number, I think I'll slit my wrists."

    On a more serious note, I just don't understand some people.  And this time, it is pretty much just one person.  Isn't it obvious when I offered to kick his ass it's because he treats you like shit and you deserve much better?  I know how hard it is, like you told me.  I care about you babe, more than you think.  And I hate to see you like this.