It seems that every summer I experience is haunted by something.  I guess I'm cursed, but I really don't know.  It can happen at any time, but it's the same thing that happens.  If you read this at all last year around June/July, you'll know what I'm talking about.  And it never just concerned me and one other person.  It seems that the curse consumes groups of people over one disagreement.
    That being said, I want to apologize to everyone involved.  By no means am I a hateful person, nor do I mean to drag things out over an extended period of time; I'd much rather get it all out at once and have things the way they used to be...in blissful ignorance.
    I've said it before and I'll say it again; I think it happens because I care too much.  I put myself out there in a way that I can never hide again to anyone, anywhere.  I don't consider it a fault, but it has it's consequences.  I love and I care, always looked after them.  And I rarely ask for anything return.  "Love me as I love you."  Oddly, it always leads to the same thing, which is never good.
    At this age (and it may hold true at anytime in life), it seems that which powers love is not love, but apathy.  In my experience (which I realize is little) true caring springs from absolutely nothing.  The best relationships I've ever had with people started on grounds with a mutual, unspoken, understanding of no emotional attachment (a lot of people I'm friends with now started on almost dickish terms).  Take it slow, work your way with trust, then maybe...just maybe it pays off with something that is true and real.
    And if you've ever wondered why I stopped caring, it's because you ignored the advice, feigned returned love.  It took some time for me to realize it.  I was stuck in that ignorant happiness, like pigs wallowing in their own filth, content as can be.  I defended you, was shit on for you, contemplated committing felonies for you, almost ended some of the closest friendships of my entire life for you.  For what? 



Regardless...I'll probably love you as long as I live, even though it was never enough.