Tonight, I had a problem with the jukebox at the bowling alley.  I requested the Prodigy's song "Poison," but rather than playing, the machine took the dollar and spent the next 15 minutes downloading the song.  After a few minutes, I suggested that the thing was broken, to which Ben replied "It's still downloading."  Surprisingly, 5 minutes after I told the manager about the problem, and had my dollar refunded, the machine cranks up with a loud bassline and the words "I've got the poison, I've got the remedy."  In a way, the whole situation was ironic and made me think.
    People tell me that the best is yet to come.  I never quite believed them, and to be honest, I'm still skeptical as to the statement's accuracy.  But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me back up a bit.
    When I think hard enough about everything, I realize that there's no reason I should be unhappy.  I am on my way to fulfilling my life's goals and am having a little fun on the way.  But there's something still that irks me.  It's hard to explain but can be summed up in an analogy posed by dane cook and if you know his material, you know the basic subject when I say this.  It's like when you walk past a friend's house and you notice that he's having a party.  You come to the front and see people in the windows and realize that you were never invited.  To add to the trouble, it starts pouring down rain on you. 
    But it stems from more than just love, it seems that I'm being left out of some bigger loop.  I feel I'm being lied to by my own friends and in some cases it's not too short of being true.
    Sometimes, I feel if it's my own fault and think that maybe I can fix it myself.  Somehow, I always end up in the same position.  All my efforts have been in vein to fix what's still bugging me.
    Which brings me back to my original story.  With the last breath I consume before I give up, I give it one last shot, to play it cool and push through this just to hope that sometime my day will come.